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22 Brutally Honest Confessions From A Music Festival Worker

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Please stop throwing cups of piss at our head.

The best paid festival job is also the very worst job.

The best paid festival job is also the very worst job.

Yes, we do actually clean the portaloos during the festival, if we didn’t they’d be even worse. And the stewards who do it essentially get danger money due to the fact it’s basically the worst, grimmest job in the world.

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Working the pit barriers can be unpleasant too.

Working the pit barriers can be unpleasant too.

If there’s a surge forward, people can be crushed against the barriers, so we have to act fast to haul them up and over if they’re looking faint or in danger. At rowdy gigs it’s quite a stressful job, and you have to be really alert. You certainly don’t get to enjoy the music, despite being right next to the band.

G4S

No, we can’t get you backstage.

We barely get to see any bands, especially if we’re managing the queues. We’re also not exactly important in the grand scheme of things. “Can you get me backstage?” Mate, we can’t even get ourselves backstage.

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We can’t do anything about the price of booze either.

We can't do anything about the price of booze either.

Yes, we’re perfectly aware £5 a pint is a bit much, but it’s not our fault. Do you think the people cleaning portaloos in yellow vests get to make pricing decisions? If you’ve got a complaint, launch it at the organisers, not us.

Twitter: @BillyMayhem1


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